“He who controls others may be powerful, but he who has mastered himself is mightier still” - Lao Tzu
Why do we give people power over us? And I mean give. People wouldn't have any power over us unless we give it. We don't always knowingly give away this power but we do it all the same.
Your boss has power because you have given it to him freely because he is your boss and can tell you what to do and say and think (at least from 8a-5p).
Friends sometimes take that power from you and you either gave it to them or didn't realize it until it was too late.
My friend is a good friend (but not a wonderful friend like the one I mentioned the other day) and I think the reason he took the power in our relationship is because that's his personality. And I let it happen. Only now am I realizing the power I have given him. He calls and I answer, he talks and I listen, he asks what I did today and I don't tell him because I don't feel it's that exciting really (and I'm actually a very private person). We can spend a whole conversation with me saying very little which I hate but again I don't say anything so it is my own fault.
He needs to realize that what is important to him may not be important to others. Just like what is important to me may not be important to him. But because of this thing called friendship we should care about what the other finds important or interesting. If he isn't interested in it, he doesn't want to hear about it. And being an only child this is how he was raised, as the center of attention which is part of the problem I guess.
He even has no clue that he and his partner missed my birthday which shouldn't bother me too much cause my schmuck brother couldn't be bothered either. Although I expect it from my schmuck brother.
Why am I blogging all this if I am such a private person? I DON'T KNOW!! How's that for an answer.
I really have made great strides in changing as far as letting people walk all over me. And I know if there was a problem that this friend and his partner would be right there. They have proven that to me. I just need to somehow recapture the power in this relationship and I don't know how to do it.
Oy, relationships are a bitch aren't they? Friendships, co-workers, lovers, husbands/wives, it doesn't matter what kind it is. Someone holds the power in each and every relationship unless you are one of the lucky few that holds only half the power as should be the case in your marriage, or other romantic relationship you might be in.
Nobody should have too much power over you because you are the important one in your life, yes others are important but it is our life so we should be the star!
So tomorrow when that one friend calls (and we all have one, let's be honest) and says 'go turn on channel XYZ you have to see this' but you are reading or watching something else that you have waited weeks for or are spending time with your family, tell him/her you can't. You are doing something else at the moment.
Will they be mad? Yes but you know what? It's ok for people to be mad at you. I am slowly learning this fact. I hate for people to be mad at me but I can't control the rotation of their world. All I can do it be who I am and if that hurts their feelings then so be it. I take no ownership of their feelings, I only control my own.
So when they get mad at you and don't call you for a couple days. It's ok. Your life will go on and if it was that important to them then they either get over it or they don't. Again not your problem.
It's one thing to want to please friends and family, it's another to feel the need to do it. Please yourself people. If you are happy with yourself then those that love you will be happy as well.
You can't love others until you love yourself, hell you can't like others until you like yourself.
Ok stepping off today's soapbox. Thanks for listening.
Totals for today
Calories 1505
Fat 49
Carbs 143
Protein 62
8oz. glasses of water 0
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